My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
