The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
