I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
