I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
He felt like a one man threesome
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
