I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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