i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Randomize
