From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Randomize
