is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
