C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.