people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
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