is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
