This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
