You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize