Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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