She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
