you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
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