So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
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She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
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