4 words: hood of his car
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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