Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
And then he peed in my hair
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