so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
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test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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