you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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