It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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