Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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