my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
