I can't watch pbs sober anymore
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Randomize
