i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
