I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Randomize