At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize