I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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