Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
