Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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