Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Randomize
