quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
