Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
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