never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
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