How's work?
Spinning.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Randomize
