The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
