Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
