I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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