hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Randomize
