I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I'm passing your future prison.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
