I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
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