evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
