I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
