plz talk dirty to me
I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Randomize
