I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Less talking, more tequila
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Last time i carry you out of a forest
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
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