She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
you inspire me to be a worse person
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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