Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
