Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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