i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
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