I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
