As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Randomize
