No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Randomize
