Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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