I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
