it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize