So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
