I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
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