I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
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