I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
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