Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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