Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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