I cannot find my penis.
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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