worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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