Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
