the new term for farting is butt boxing.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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